i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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