Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
