i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
