my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
of course. lets lasso hookers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
