i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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