what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
