so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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