He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That was before I lit my hair on fire
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
