MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
