Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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