I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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