the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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