why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
