My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
