i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
