You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
