In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
