your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize