Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this boner is exhausting
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I wear drunk well.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
