$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
