I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I look better un-naked...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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