dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
