If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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