'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
