So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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