i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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