so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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