i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
