you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am one with the molecules
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize