Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
