Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
