the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
