he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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