Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize