but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
