He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I could make wine with my vomit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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