If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
