I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
