dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
