hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
