you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
