After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
