Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
