I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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