You work out of a Hotel?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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