Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
