Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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