btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
