THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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