Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
