So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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