So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
