Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
