Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize