Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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