her vagine was all disorganized.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
