no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
