Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently you make a good broom.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
