can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's shark week go big or go home
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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