i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
