I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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