I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
