Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
